Default Parent


It’s always mom. No matter how far we think we have come as a society or in our relationships, moms are always the default parent. We have all the answers. All the cures. We have whatever it takes to stop the tears. At least that seems to be what dads believe. Because we were the sole provider and home for nine months, everything that happens once they leave our bodies is still our domain too. It doesn’t matter if we make more or are the only provider. We women are always the default parent.

Or maybe it’s just me having this experience. Maybe I’m the only one feeling so alone sometimes and that I have to sacrifice twice as much. I wonder if there are any other mommies are feeling this way?

I’ve been up since 4 a.m. I’ve worked a super busy day and nursed a baby (and pumped at work) in between it all. Yet, it’s 11 p.m. and I’m the one sitting on the couch all alone waiting for the baby to go to sleep. And when he wakes up as soon as i put him in his crib and we begin our nightly dance of sleep/wake, I’m the one who gets to be the default parent all over again tomorrow…

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2 thoughts on “Default Parent

  1. You are now a member of the club with me and so many other mommies. My kids still walk past Ray to ask for help and when Thayer get sick or need something I am the “default parent” to this day. It will always be this way no mater if you work or not, it’s one of the reasons I decided to work at home.

  2. No, you’re not the only one. I complain and boast about being the “default parent” all the time. My LO is only 2 months and I swear she knows who I am, it’s like she knows I’m not just a pair of arms. She knows I’m Mom, the one who knows and understands her.

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