Hollow


Today has been surreal.

I’m not much for emotion and feelings but I couldn’t escape them today.

Today was the last day that my son will attend his daycare.

And just like that…it’s over.

I hate the way this feels. It is strange the things I grown attached to. What I become accustomed to. I think my husband is feeling similarly. The story goes that my son started at this daycare on a trial basis back in January. He went for a few days of his two-week trial but then my husband went into the hospital. Suddenly, we were thrust into a situation where this daycare was a necessity. If had any worry about the place, I wouldn’t have continued just for that reason. But he seemed to like it. He seemed happy and they seemed to be fine with him and taking on the extra hours. So we continued that way, full-time, for months while my husband was hospitalized. Even once Will was home, there was still a few weeks of full-time care so that he could build up his strength, etc. Then he went back to part-time.

Thinking back now, there have been signs all along. His first week there, a little girl scratched his face. A scar he still bears to this day. Come to find out, she’s a repeat offender. There was the day that I dropped him off in mid-morning and it seemed like 6-7 kids and only one person working. This is a small, in-home daycare but it is family run. I should see the family pitching in at all times. I asked about it and was told everything was fine and she had help. I didn’t make a fuss because I believed that she was telling me the truth. There have been other things my husband and I have noticed of the past few months…more and more kids and less face time with the other “workers.” More bumps and scrapes that go undocumented. Then there is all this talk about his behavior. I have blogged about this before because I am still offended that her implication is that he has some sort of behavioral issue that they can’t deal with. I’m wondering if perhaps the fact that there are more kids and less help means that his “behavior” is being targeted because he is demanding the proper attention for a toddler, and not the skirting-the-law type of care they are currently offering.  Then suddenly, the past few weeks, right as we were reconsidering the financials of this daycare arrangement and perhaps just stopping altogether, he’s doing wonderfully! He is getting great report cards. “Best day he has ever had here.” Playing with the other kids, engaging in story time, playing outside. The whole deal. He’s a star student.

It all came crashing down today. A call from the county regarding a complaint lodged by another parent. Allegations include too many children for the license, children being left in the sun for excessive periods of time, and the daycare workers not watching the kids at the park and just playing on their phones. Apparently the county made a visit yesterday, a report was filed and all parents should have received a copy. We did not. In fact, we heard nothing from our daycare regarding this at all. The most troubling piece of information is that when the husband was approached at the park by the county investigator, he lied about his name and about being with the daycare. Why?? That is the last straw. We we both arrive to discuss this afternoon and most likely end our services. We are met with hostility and dismissiveness. More importantly, we are met with 30-day notice. Our son is no longer a good fit. He had a bad day and they just can’t figure out what works for him anymore. Even though he is sitting peacefully in his high chair, eating his snack and drinking his drink. Such a trouble maker.

How convenient. It becomes clear that we are the main suspects for the complaint. Though, we are still unsure why. I questioned one time if she had help, months ago, and now I’m a whistle blower? Maybe I am the only one to ever question her and that is what leads to this conclusion. In any event,  we packed his stuff and said 30 days won’t be necessary. As if I would allow her to continue to “care” for him. Clearly she doesn’t give a shit so why would I leave him in their under-investigation care? No thank you. But we sure did get a bill right away. It’s due IMMEDIATELY since we did not consent to the 30-day time frame. What a crock.

I think the reason I am affected so much is because those months he was full-time, I relied on them, I trusted them because I had to. That was his home for 9-10 hours per day 5 days per week and he was happy to go there and sad to leave. That’s all I could ask for. He played, he napped and they fed him well. Now it feels like it was all a sham. Maybe they just felt sorry and took pity on me because of the situation I was thrust into and they were just along for the ride. But I guess I thought they cared and now I feel like they never really did.  And that hurts. It pains me because I wonder if he will miss them. Will he wonder why he doesn’t see them anymore? I hope his youth is to my advantage in this regard, since I will never have to explain this to him. And hopefully it will all be a distant memory very soon.

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2 thoughts on “Hollow

  1. WOW! I am speechless. How incredibly terrible. I am so sorry for you 3. I, too, hope this is soon a distant memory for all of you.

  2. Babies are very flexible and adapt to change easily. He is very smart and does not have any issues that I could ever see with his behavior. Thank God everything turned out well and he is out of there. Love, Grandma Cindy

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