Short for What I’m Doing Now. Howdy all. Hope 2017 is treating you all right. So per usual, I’m the slacker blogger. Just to mark it down now, it’s March and this is my second post of the year. Yep, … Continue reading
I had the privilege to participate in the Women’s March on Sacramento on Saturday, January 21. This was one of the 673 sister marches that took place in solidarity of the Women’s March on Washington. Like many women (and people for … Continue reading
I know that like many people, I am very excited to put 2016 in the rear-view mirror. My favorite descriptor of this year so far? “Poop-flavored trash fire.” And I’ll never stop laughing at it. For all of the crap … Continue reading
Shock and awe is an understatement. The results of the 2016 Presidential Election have left the country (and in many ways the world) stunned. I sit here tonight with so many privileges. I have the the following privileges: A husband to … Continue reading
Tonight is the eve of the first day of the quarter. It has been a long (thanks to the quarter system), crazy summer. This was my first summer in my current position at work and I have to say, the … Continue reading
I haven’t blogged in a while but the recent events in the national news are weighing heavy on my heart. The divide that is growing in our country is turning violent. Our love, need, demand for guns combined with our … Continue reading
A little over a week ago the majority of my graduate school cohort and I celebrated our commencement. For some in our cohort it was the culmination of all their hard work. For others like me, it was recognition for … Continue reading
May of each year brings about a lot of celebration in my life. Between birthdays and Mother’s Day, I have a lot to be thankful for during this lovely spring month. This past weekend, both Mother’s Day and my husband’s … Continue reading
For Gabriel’s fourth birthday I decided to take a break from party planning and plan a trip to Disneyland instead. I figured this age is still young enough to enjoy all of the magic of the parks and old enough … Continue reading
I feel like I tend to stay pretty positive on this blog. That’s me talking like I post all that often…yeah, so there’s that. But when I do post I try to stay honest, and for the most part grateful.
The truth is, I am extremely grateful. Probably the thing I am most grateful for is a happy and (mostly) healthy child. On the whole, he gets sick much less that most kids, I believe. One of the perks of staying home. He’s battling bronchitis and some tummy issues these days, so it is not all sunshine and roses.
But I know that I have a lot. Namely, I know that without medical interventions, my child and I might not be here.
Recently, I read a post on a Facebook page that triggered something in me. It is something that I feel often but that I try let go because I know that is is a losing battle in many ways. The truth is that is shame.
Gabriel was born via c-section and if you are familiar with the “mommy wars” you will know that one of the Cardinal sins you cannot commit is delivering your baby via c-section.
What this post triggered is the thought that those who delivered vaginally…normally…properly…were superior. And that all women that have c-sections have the option. It is some elective surgery that we cruise into the hospital for and breeze through. So much nonsense.
I often scroll past these mommy war posts. Not giving them the time of day or the power. But because I clicked, and gave this post a cursory glance, I gave it power.
Part of my anger was the implication that somehow my child is less-than because of this one aspect of his life. He is somehow doomed to a life of illness and idiocy because he was able to be born at all. Why are children delivered via c-section fair game for such judgement? Will they start to study children conceived through IVF and scare their parents with stories of their fate?! Not likely. So disheartening that my child will have to forever be stigmatized because of how he was delivered. What a life!
After fuming and scrolling simultaneously, I started to scan the comments. Then I gave in. What I posted as my comment is below:
These articles are written like every woman has a choice. Like all c-sections are some selfish election by entitled mothers. They are not. They are often a concessions after all other interventions did not work. For those of us who just want the opportunity for our children to come into this world ALIVE and as safe as possible. People elect all kinds of interventions to get pregnant and we praise that. But as soon as we sacrifice our bodies for them to be born, by being sawed in half, only for the chance to enjoy that life, we are chastised, talked down to, and disrespected. So sick of it and these bullshit articles that try to make correlation and causation. Fuck off! My kid is the healthiest I know.
So that’s my rant. That’s my beef. I move through most days without this burden affecting me but some days, I just gotta say STFU to the mommy wars. Enjoy your babies and know that parenting is not a competition. So much of life is out of our control. Judgement serves no purpose and advances no cause. Focus on you and your own and view fellow mommies as commrades rather than competitors. We’re all in the trenches together doing the dirty work. Cheers to us all!