WIDN

Short for What I’m Doing Now. Howdy all. Hope 2017 is treating you all right. So per usual, I’m the slacker blogger. Just to mark it down now, it’s March and this is my second post of the year. Yep, … Continue reading

Mama Rant

I feel like I tend to stay pretty positive on this blog. That’s me talking like I post all that often…yeah, so there’s that. But when I do post I try to stay honest, and for the most part grateful.

The truth is, I am extremely grateful. Probably the thing I am most grateful for is a happy and (mostly) healthy child. On the whole, he gets sick much less that most kids, I believe. One of the perks of staying home. He’s battling bronchitis and some tummy issues these days, so it is not all sunshine and roses.

But I know that I have a lot. Namely, I know that without medical interventions, my child and I might not be here.

Recently, I read a post on a Facebook page that triggered something in me. It is something that I feel often but that I try let go because I know that is is a losing battle in many ways. The truth is that is shame.

Gabriel was born via c-section and if you are familiar with the “mommy wars” you will know that one of the Cardinal sins you cannot commit is delivering your baby via c-section.

What this post triggered is the thought that those who delivered vaginally…normally…properly…were superior. And that all women that have c-sections have the option. It is some elective surgery that we cruise into the hospital for and breeze through. So much nonsense.

I often scroll past these mommy war posts. Not giving them the time of day or the power. But because I clicked, and gave this post a cursory glance, I gave it power.

Part of my anger was the implication that somehow my child is less-than because of this one aspect of his life. He is somehow doomed to a life of illness and idiocy because he was able to be born at all. Why are children delivered via c-section fair game for such judgement? Will they start to study children conceived through IVF and scare their parents with stories of their fate?! Not likely. So disheartening that my child will have to forever be stigmatized because of how he was delivered. What a life!

After fuming and scrolling simultaneously, I started to scan the comments. Then I gave in. What I posted as my comment is below:

These articles are written like every woman has a choice. Like all c-sections are some selfish election by entitled mothers. They are not. They are often a concessions after all other interventions did not work. For those of us who just want the opportunity for our children to come into this world ALIVE and as safe as possible. People elect all kinds of interventions to get pregnant and we praise that. But as soon as we sacrifice our bodies for them to be born, by being sawed in half, only for the chance to enjoy that life, we are chastised, talked down to, and disrespected. So sick of it and these bullshit articles that try to make correlation and causation. Fuck off! My kid is the healthiest I know.

So that’s my rant. That’s my beef. I move through most days without this burden affecting me but some days, I just gotta say STFU to the mommy wars. Enjoy your babies and know that parenting is not a competition. So much of life is out of our control. Judgement serves no purpose and advances no cause. Focus on you and your own and view fellow mommies as commrades rather than competitors. We’re all in the trenches together doing the dirty work. Cheers to us all!

Team Natural….Eventually

Happy New Year and welcome to 2015!

I want to start this year off on the right foot. I listed a few things in my end-of-the-year post that I would like to focus on and accomplish in 2015. One thing I mentioned in transitioning to my natural hair.

I don’t keep it much of a secret that I wear a weave. It is a full sew-in with no hair left out. So basically, all of my natural hair is braided up and hidden from the world. This is known as a protective hair style and one that I have really enjoyed the versatility of. I love being able to change my hair length, texture, and color every few months. The downside is the cost and sometimes, the maintenance can be difficult for me. As you might know, or maybe have guessed, I’m not much of a girly girl. When it comes to hair (and makeup for that matter) I am a novice in every sense of the word.

I have been wearing my hair in a weave for almost six years now. Wearing my natural hair is something I have considered off and on over the years, however. I can never seem to get up the courage. Why you may ask? There are so many reasons. I actually read an article the other day (but I can’t find the link for the life of me, ARG!) about why black women often struggle to embrace their natural hair. For me, I work in a somewhat professional environment and sometimes fear my natural hair might not be viewed as “professional.” There are plenty of examples of the societal stigma that does not support natural hair styles of black women. But I’m getting to a point now that I don’t care. I want to try something different. Something that feels more like…me.

So, for me 2015 will be the year of beauty. I am going to experiment with my hair, and occasionally my makeup. As a married mother with a full plate, it might seem odd to embark on this journey now but it also feels the most natural for me. The older I get, the more confident I get. Motherhood, life experience, and just comfort in my own skin has actually given me the confidence to try new things in the beauty department.

Challenge Up!

Happy Monday! Posts two days in a row? No way?!

Yes way!

A few months back (August, I think) I did a 30 miles in 30 days challenge and I really enjoyed trying to meet my goal. I was able to easily exceed it and decided that December is time for a new challenge.

This time, I’ve enlisted the help of some of my friends. I’ve started a Facebook group and added a few friends, near and far, to join me in starting and finishing a monthly challenge. This is different in that I’m asking them to do any challenge they want. The goal of the group is to support each other, not just do a specific challenge. I’ve actually posted a few on our group page, and tonight I decided to mix and match the different workout moves to make my own challenge.Tomorrow, I will probably mix and match day two from a few of the challenges I’ve posted. Below are the ones I posted for the group chose from:

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Interested in getting motivated and healthy in December? Try out one of the challenges!

Happy holidays!

Back in Cali

I’m finally back on the left coast and starting to get back to normal after traveling through time for the past week. I was in North Carolina just long enough to get used to the time difference and then head back. Even my much-needed day in between yesterday couldn’t get me caught up on all of the sleep.

Unfortunately, I did not get the chance to blog from the road (maybe next time) but I did get to have lots of wonderful times with old friends and new. I got to shower one of my best girls with love and celebrate her upcoming wedding. I also got to drink lots of wine. I’ve missed that.

It felt strange not having a toddler climbing all over me or needing something. It was strange not parenting. Dog life was a change as well. I forget how much attention they want and need. But just like the cats, at the end of the day, they just want to snuggle up with you.

I stayed up late, ate badly, and swore like a sailor. Very, very good times.

So glad to be home to my little family in our little world though. I’ll get back into this parenting grind. Patience is a virtue I only have for my child but apparently, I can get rusty at that too. He’s picked up a lot of new attitude since I’ve been gone. So back to work I go, trying to make a decent human being out of him.

In the meantime, please enjoy a few snapshots of my journey away.

 

 

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One of our wine nights

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Being silly with Nikki P.

 

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The bride-to-be and me at the bachelorette party

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Loki was my road dog the entire trip