Mama Rant

I feel like I tend to stay pretty positive on this blog. That’s me talking like I post all that often…yeah, so there’s that. But when I do post I try to stay honest, and for the most part grateful.

The truth is, I am extremely grateful. Probably the thing I am most grateful for is a happy and (mostly) healthy child. On the whole, he gets sick much less that most kids, I believe. One of the perks of staying home. He’s battling bronchitis and some tummy issues these days, so it is not all sunshine and roses.

But I know that I have a lot. Namely, I know that without medical interventions, my child and I might not be here.

Recently, I read a post on a Facebook page that triggered something in me. It is something that I feel often but that I try let go because I know that is is a losing battle in many ways. The truth is that is shame.

Gabriel was born via c-section and if you are familiar with the “mommy wars” you will know that one of the Cardinal sins you cannot commit is delivering your baby via c-section.

What this post triggered is the thought that those who delivered vaginally…normally…properly…were superior. And that all women that have c-sections have the option. It is some elective surgery that we cruise into the hospital for and breeze through. So much nonsense.

I often scroll past these mommy war posts. Not giving them the time of day or the power. But because I clicked, and gave this post a cursory glance, I gave it power.

Part of my anger was the implication that somehow my child is less-than because of this one aspect of his life. He is somehow doomed to a life of illness and idiocy because he was able to be born at all. Why are children delivered via c-section fair game for such judgement? Will they start to study children conceived through IVF and scare their parents with stories of their fate?! Not likely. So disheartening that my child will have to forever be stigmatized because of how he was delivered. What a life!

After fuming and scrolling simultaneously, I started to scan the comments. Then I gave in. What I posted as my comment is below:

These articles are written like every woman has a choice. Like all c-sections are some selfish election by entitled mothers. They are not. They are often a concessions after all other interventions did not work. For those of us who just want the opportunity for our children to come into this world ALIVE and as safe as possible. People elect all kinds of interventions to get pregnant and we praise that. But as soon as we sacrifice our bodies for them to be born, by being sawed in half, only for the chance to enjoy that life, we are chastised, talked down to, and disrespected. So sick of it and these bullshit articles that try to make correlation and causation. Fuck off! My kid is the healthiest I know.

So that’s my rant. That’s my beef. I move through most days without this burden affecting me but some days, I just gotta say STFU to the mommy wars. Enjoy your babies and know that parenting is not a competition. So much of life is out of our control. Judgement serves no purpose and advances no cause. Focus on you and your own and view fellow mommies as commrades rather than competitors. We’re all in the trenches together doing the dirty work. Cheers to us all!

A Thirty-Wonderful Weekend

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In the shade…

 

Birthday weekend was a success! If the picture above is any indication, I had such an amazing time. On Saturday, I went wine tasting with friends, and that evening, my husband and went out for dinner and a movie. But by far, my favorite day was Monday. Our little family took a day trip to Kings Beach in North Lake Tahoe and spent time in the water, sun, and sand. Watching our little splash around in the water and dig in the sand made me grin from ear to ear.

Our day of fun brought to mind a comment I heard last week, that people spend too much time documenting their lives, that they need to step from behind their cameras and participate. While I agree that being present and in-the-moment is the most important, I feel like there is nothing more in-the-moment than appreciating  the pure joy of watching your son play with his dad. I had so many moments on Monday where, yes, I was behind the camera, but it warms my heart so much to see them playing together. To see them laughing and being silly. The times when they are sharing pure love…that’s what being present feels like to me.

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Call me crazy, but these are the moments I want the opportunity to capture and save forever ❤

 

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The Magnificent Twos

There is so much talk in parent-land about the terrible twos. Actually these days, I hear that three is giving two a run for its money, but I have almost a year before I need to worry about that.

I want to coin a new phrase. The magnificent twos. No, it doesn’t have the same fun alliteration as the terrible twos but I think it is a better description of the time. Granted, I have only been part of this club for a few months, I am seeing that each days brings new wonderment and new challenges that I feel are unique to this time in my son’s life.

What other age offers me the opportunity to look back so fondly at his baby years, and yet look so hopefully toward their future, when I get to see the kind of person he grows up to be? I can still hold, cuddle, and even rock my big boy toddler, but still look back and see his tiny newborn face staring up at me. He wants to do things all by himself but still wants mama when things are hard. I still don’t understand half of what he is saying but I feel like I am having full on conversations with him on a daily basis.

Yes, he challenges us everyday with his new words, his new attitude, his new defiance and rebellion. But he also makes us laugh everyday with his new faces, his new independence, and his new assertiveness. He tells me what he wants, even when it is nonsense, in such a matter-of-fact way that I can’t help but marvel at how his little brain works.

Now, at story time, he tells me what books he wants to read, picks them out, knows them by name, and keeps going back for another book. He knows all of the animals, the characters, and the pictures. He knows how they feel and what will happen next. Not many things make my heart swell more than my son answering the questions in the books that I have been reading him since the day he was born. It is our time. It is the thing we share. The love of books and reading that, even at two, I can tell he will carry with him.

He’s magnificent. Also, cranky and unpredictable, but what do you expect when molars are making their appearance? I would not trade this time for the past, though I look back at it with warmth in my heart. Most importantly, it gives me something wonderful to look forward to each day. Something to work toward. I don’t want to miss any more than I have to because this truly is a magnificent time to have a toddler.

 

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